Bother Tongue

It is probably in the distinct memory of whoever even bothers believing me these days that I mentioned that a Dark Knight review would be coming up on the site, the only fatal flaw being that at this point of time, I strongly advise disregarding anything I say regarding predictions about what will be coming up on this blog, since chances are high that they probably won't. (Congratulations if you are incredibly confused at this point of time, because you have just, as most people tend to say, "gotten the joke" here. If you aren't just ignore everything you've read previously that's in the bracket, then proceed to curse Samuel at the top of your lungs for putting this notice at the back of the bracketed text. It's probably best I close the brackets before they start becoming too proud of themselves.)

I do, however, have an interesting topic at hand here, which is pretty much what the rest of this entry is about. (Dammit, paragraph 1.) And this here is based on a snippet of a conversation I had with Rashidah. Not so much a snippet, since this was pretty much the entire conversation, but shut up you nit-picking git.

Rashidah: Samuel, do you still take Chinese?
Samuel: *gives a stare that would have disheartened Nelson Mandela* Unforturnately, yes.
R: Oh.
S: I don't want to though. I learn nothing in Chinese.
R: Ya, I also don't want to learn Malay.
S: The only thing I've learnt is why I speak English.
R: *Rashidah's trademark laughter that is untranslatable into text.*

And that alone pretty much makes the rest of this entry compltely redundant, which can be pretty much likened to the trailer of every single Hong Kong film ever made, but I digress (I'm not quite sure what the point of pointing that out is, but I've just realized that if I keep up this bracket nonsense it could cause jealously in the unbracketed majority.)

But the point is, to me, learning Chinese is quite redundant. Or rather, learning Chinese to the degree that we are right now is redundant. And the reason for that is this:

I'm never going to study or work in a country where Chinese is the main language.

I'm simply terrible at Chinese. So much to the point that I can emphatize with any Western masochist that attempts to learn the language. To me learning the language any more simply won't make me any better at it. About 80 percent of the vocabulary I've been taught in the last 10 years I've forgotten, which in the Great Wall of Vocabulary is nothing more than a brick, and I've no desire to tour anymore of the thing.

But here's the thing. If I'm no longer learning anything in Chinese, other than for the sake of passing that final A-level examination, why am I still studying it?

On reflection I need to start asking questions that need to be answered by other people.

But here's one that might require some sort of reader interaction. Why do I need to take that examination? I'm likely to fair horrible in it, and pretty much remain right where I am. Why take it if I'm horrible at it, and let it show up on my resume?

As is the common Asian way, I blame the government, and following the next step of the Asian way, subsequently withdraw that statement for fear of getting my arse dragged to the Asian Court of Law. But it is undeniable that one thing that the Singapore government has stressed in "The Things that make us Singaporean" is that most of us are bilingual, and it's quite unlikely that they're going to drop this stand anytime soon, since this seems to be a great selling point (Human Rights activists, feel free to twitch uncontrollably right here) for graduates when it comes to studying or working overseas.

But what seems to be happening is that the exact same thing is happening in other countries. English, thanks to the explosive prowress of the US, seems to be accepted as the lingua franca in the global community when it comes to international interaction (five times, quickly. go.), and foreign students are no doubt striving to avoid the fate of Chairman Mao as we speak.

Can you then say redundant?

Possibly not. While the international lingua franca might be English, the chances that the local population of any country immediately starts taking up English as its commonly spoken language is simply unlikely. It's the language they've always known and it seems unlikely that they switch to English just because those snobby Hamburger eating undergraduates are doing it.

So I suppose I'm just going to have to finish up the five Chinese writing assignments I have due right now, while I nibble the edge of my BK Tendergrill.

The Sound of Violence

The speculative probability of me actually going to see a movie
on Friday, specifically The Dark Knight, and thus rendering my use of the phrase "a movie" grammatically incorrect (the correct phrase being "the movie"), leaves me with the equally speculative possibility of actually having something to write about within the
last month or so, putting me below even the most shameless magazines.

But the interesting thing is that not only are the usual rabid fanboys (more grammatically correct to refer to them as a single entity as of now) of comic books watching this movie, but there have been signs that a good percentage of the audience may in fact be members of the human race.

The Dark Knight is apparently more than just a comic book movie, putting it somewhat at the level of being analogous to Bioshock, the wonderful game/philosophyfest, with the difference of Bioshock being the dumbed down successor to System Shock, whereas The Dark Knight, being the latest installment in an army of already existing Batman films, only serves to further lengthen arguments concerning evolution.

So while I personally promise the a review of the movie after I finally get to live through the greatness that is The Dark Knight, I might attempt to persuade someone else possessing what is known as an actual social life to review the movie as well, thus leaving us with two different kinds of absolutely gushingly positive reviews to work with, as opposed to just one.

The Quiz of the Dragon

There comes a time at some point of time in time where a misanthrope like myself has no outings of any sort to speak of on his blog, so he takes to filling up 100 question quizzes that happen to be on the blogs of other people like Kylie, who strangely enough aren't misanthropes that have no outings to speak of. So just for the sake of consuming pixels on the screen of you, the reader, let me just say that before you start reading my answers to this quiz, it really doesn't seem like the kind of quiz catered to misanthropes like myself.

So here you are: (And the 100 question quiz along with it)

001. What's the connection between you and the last person that
called you? - Utter enemies.

002. Do you ever turn your cell phone off? - I turn off a lot of
things, but hardly my cell phone.

003. What happened at 10.00am today? - I was in bed, so a lot of
things happened.

004. When did you last cry? - When my computer couldn't run
Battlefield 2.

005. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? -
Those awesome crackers made by some local biscuit company whose
name I can't remember, and most probably never will.

006. What do you want in your life right now? - Possibly an
attachment to some awesome professor.

007. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your
hood? - I'm not usually carrying an umbrella when it rains, and
I've never associated myself with any of them.

008. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed? - After I've
got a job, a stable income and whatnot, I'm thinking of getting a
comforter.

009. What bottom are you wearing now? - Track pants. Because
they're inexplicably nice.

010. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say? - "Your viva for
the module "Vectors in 2 and 3 Dimensions" will be on the 19th of
June".

011. Do you tend to make a relationships complicated? - Well, I
don't make relationships.

012. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? - Well
technically, no.

013. What was the last movie you caught? - Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I thought it was fairly epic, but a
bit cliched.

014. What are you proud of? - My epic humility, but mostly my
hair.

015. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?" - It's
a discount alert from Tecman.

016. What was the last song you sang out loud? - The Scientist by
Coldplay

017. Do you have any nicknames? What are they? - Yes, actually. A
lot of people call me Samuel.

018. What does your last received text message say? - ??? I"m
invited? Don't think I will be going though... from Leroy, about
the blogger circle. Speaking of which-

019. What time did you go to bed last night? - Last night? Well,
about 1.00.

020. Are you currently happy? Well, I had dinner.

021. Who gives you best advice? That's a good one.

022. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can? - But is a
fetus really a human being?

023. Who did you talk on the phone with last night? - I think it
was Shudder. I don't know.

024. Is anything bugging you right now? - What question is this?
24? Well, yes.

025. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh? -
The second episode of RVB Reconstruction.

026. Do you wear toe socks? - I do wear socks.

027. Who was the last person you missed a call from? - Shudder

028. Have you ever had your heart broken? - Squashed, maybe.

029. What annoys you most in a person? - Refer to question 1.
Presumptous ignorance.

030. Do you have a crush on anyone? - That does not compute.

031. Have you ever done cocaine? - Well, I don't remmeber doing
it.

032. What is the colour of your room? Green.

033. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars? The
last time I checked billion dollars wasn't enough to bail you out
of the murder sentence.

034. Do you believed in the saying "talk is cheap"? Absolutely
not. It's completely free.

035. Who was the last person to lay in your bed? Sadly, me.

036. Who was the last person to hug you? - I'm going to be
getting a lot of emails from this, but I think it was a long
distance hug from Darryl.

037. Did anyone see the last person you kissed? - Did anyone see
the last person I kissed? I honestly don't remember.

038. Do you have a life? Thinking of getting one soon.

039. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
- Nelson Mandela.

040. What is the reason behind your profile song? - If you're
talking about Eyes of the Tiger, then simply because I admire the
guy who sang it, seeing as how it's completely impossible to do
so .

041. Who was the last person you saw in your dream? Jar Jar
Binks. Or the coroner.

042. Last time you smiled? Reading Kylie's answers to this quiz.

043. Have you changed this year? To the dismay of the residents
of my previous set, yes.

044. What are you listening to right now? The sound of crickets
outside my flat.

045. Are you talking to someone when you doing this? No.

046. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed? Generally a good
idea to keep them open.

047. Is there a quote you live by? I pity da foo, I suppose.

048. Do you want someone you can't have? Anything I can't have, I
most possibly don't want, so no.

049. Have you ever played an instrument? A recorder. And a
harmonica. It was most tragic.

050. What was the worst idea you've had in this week? Cycling
with a black T-shirt on.

051. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm? Saving the human
race.

052. Are you happy with your love life right now? It's generally
non-existant, so yes.

053. What song describes your love life? Blow me Away by Breaking
Benjamin.

054. Does the person know that you like him/her? - Are you
listening to yourself?

055. Who always makes you laugh? Mostly Stephen Fry.

056. Do you speak any other language other than English? - A bit
of chinese, and several dialects of 1337.

57. Are you blond? - But what IS blond?

058. What your middle name? - The Tormentor. Or at least, I wish
it was.

059. What are you doing tomorrow? Going to church, coming back,
and then being bored for the rest of the day.

060. What do you think you are like? A plastic apple. Looks
promising but quite empty.

061. Who will you choose to die with? The nearest estate agent.

062.Where have you been today? Right here.

063. What game do you play often? Too much Halo.

064. Who are you missing right now? Anyone who's as bored as I
am.

065. If you've to choose between friends & love, who will you
choose? - I don't.

066. What are you doing right now? Doing this quiz.

067. Which primary school are you from? Juying Primary, some
completely unheard school with a building composed of the
groggriest colors since the 1970s.

068. Name 3 colours that you like. Jet Black, Shiny Porsche
White, And Quicksilver.

069. What emotion do you like to show? Completely apathy.

070. What is life to you? An episode of Oprah. Usually quite
boring and never as good as it used to be.

071. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Proceed to intellectually bitch to the nearest person.

072. Who did you last chat with in msn today? Abbeh. About
perspective and a Master Chief cosplayer, and subsequently her
split personalities.

073. Who do you admire the most? Unfortunately anything I start
to admire usually degenerates into some form of envy, so I really
can't name anyone here.

074. Which month are you born in? - In my opinion, October.

075. How are you feeling right now? Bored enough to be doing this
quiz.

076. What is the time now? 6:25pm.

077. Where are you now? - In a stuffy bedroom in a flat in
Singapore, though I honestly would rather be somewhere in the
Pacific, seeing as how something dramatic happens there every
summer.

078. What colour did you use to dye hair? White, though I later
found out that it was in fact completely ordinary shampoo.

079. Why are you doing this test? I do believe I answered that.

080. What do you do when you're moody? Complain aloud till I fall
asleep. Also happens to be what I do when I need to fall asleep.

081. At which age you wish to get married? Not so much when I
"wish to" than when it might actually happen, and I can't say for
sure.

082. Who is more important to you? A lover or friends? Strangely
enough, my attention tends to go to the ones who are more
existent, so I would say friends.

083. Do you think you have enough confidence? Possibly.

084. Who is the person you trust the most? What's it to you?

086. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? I'd
like to be a film director and script writer, actually. In doing
so I hope to completely demolish local tv.

087. What is your goal for this year? Redeem my atrocious grade,
as well as my previous attempts to redeem my atrocious grade.

088. Do you believe in eternal love? Well, I'm Christian.

089. What feeling do you love most? That smug moment after
hinting a relationship between two people, while both proceed to
give you the "I would strangle you if given the chance look while
being extremely embarassed at the same time.

090. Do you really think its Global Warming now? I'm in
Singapore, so that question really doesn't mean anything.

091. What feeling do you hate the most? Mind-numbing boredom,
easily quenched by doing 100 question quizzes.

092. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours? Mostly.

093. Do you believe in God? - Refer to question 88.

094. Who cares for you the most? - Refer to question 93.

095. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Refer to question 94.

096. What'll you bring when you fight? - A Mjolnir Mark V powered
exoskeleton, and a DV Camera.

097. What have you regretted doing in your whole life? Nothing as
of yet, but I'm suspecting that might change.

098. What would you feel when everyone no longer cares for you?
I'd feel quite pissed, I suppose.

099. What if your stead two-timed you? If? I'm also quite
suspicious of the use of the term "stead".

100. Love with a guarantee of heartbreak , or never to be loved
at all? There's not much disappointment to be had from something
that you've never had, so I'm thinking the latter.

Every now and then I find that reading through the countless textbooks that currently define the space of my cupboard seems rather pointless, and that learning all this completely incoherent and completely unrelated information doesn't seem to have any purpose, following the trend of things that are completely incoherent and unrelated.

So every once in a while I find myself striving to make use of the completely incoherent and unrelated information piled up inside my brain and threatening to tear my skull a new skylight (the first one orignating sometime during Primary school, where I was under the impression that Yoda spoke the truth about size).

So having gone for a rather eventful and amusing mafeya meeting at the Botanic Gardens, I'd like to ask if anyone reading this is (assumingly, if you are reading this, then there's really no need to ask, now is there?) bored out of their skylight infested skulls, that if you would like to join me in starting a project on something. I'm not sure what, but something intellectual. Maybe building a trebuchet, or writing a movie script, or just making a video based on our efforts to build a trebuchet or write a movie script. Whatever your current sitaution might be, feel free to scrawl all over the tagboard to your right.

Operation Get Shudder the Hell out of There

Twas a fine Saturday evening when Shudder knocked on my MSN window spouting profanities and singing ballads of needing to get out of the house. (Proof that once again I need to rework my definition of "profanities".) He beseeched that I find a way to get him out of the house, then decided to spoil the whole puzzle for me by promptly suggesting that a mafia gathering or blogger circle in school would be most appropriate (it should be noted that if you are shocked at the idea of a mafia gathering in school being appropriate, then you either don't know me, visited this blog by accident, or both).

So in keeping with the "No Child left behind" policy, I've decided to call for another blogger circle on this Monday, June 09. Anyone interested in this operation, feel free to decorate the tagboard with an elaborate mosaic of punctuation, or simply say that you're interested.

Lolz in Translation

At this point of time, it probably isn’t worth mentioning that I give no sort of regard to copyright law whatsoever, but seeing as how I’ve just started this article and have absolutely no idea how many words I can possibly crank out like a broken record, it’s my firm belief that I should just play safe and throw in a couple (it can be seen from this that my definition of couple has led to the possibility of the family line either ending here, or branching in all directions) of words here.

Abbeh has already written something along the lines of this topic, but I’m still going to write about it, so if you don’t like it, then feel free to stick your fingers in your eyes and pretend I’m writing about something else.

Before that though I should probably say that this article’s topic was a result of the mini blogger’s circle that we held on Thursday (in fact, it wasn’t so much held as passed around like some sort of diabolical potato), and it being the first blogger’s circle, there really isn’t much to compare it to so I suppose we can’t even call it mini. But the main point is that it achieved it’s purpose in giving me something to write about. And while the Daily Refusal pretty much remains in limbo, I should probably add that it might take on the form of a new blog, so keep your hopes (and suspicious) up.

It wasn’t long after we all got together at the canteen and started randomly drifting into two groups, consisting of Me and Abbeh in the first, and the other consisting of everyone else. Shudder was sort of a drifter, and if there’s one way to describe his involvement in the discussion, then I’d have to say that he was doing a cross stitch.

Abbeh brought up the topic of everyone’s favorite cake firing, portal eating fun-fest, Portal. Kylie, strongly believing that such a topic alienated everyone that wasn’t completely obsessed with Portal (No, I know, someone needs to help her), gathered her brethren and started another discussion. At this point of time me and Abbeh pretty much slogged out on an article that she found (shut up), which can be seen here:

http://digg.com/gaming_news/Portal_is_a_feminist_masterpiece_great_read

Trying to make my article feel like two articles instead of one has already been tried and pretty much failed, so allow me to summarize the article in the following way:

1. Portal is feminist.
2. The portal gun is analogous to vagoo.
3. GlaDOS is a maternal figure.
4. The Cube is a paternal figure, which is later incinerated.
5. Ergo ergo ergo, QED, W5, Portal hates 49 percent of the world’s population.

All the allegories drawn in that article were pretty much viable, save for number 4. While I would have accepted the analogy of the Cube being representative of emotional burden or emotion itself, I never thought of the Cube as a father figure (and I refuse to acknowledge that floozy of a pyramid) to begin with, and still can’t. And while it is true that all the other allegories drawn are less masculine in nature than the other elements you see in other first person shooters, and give it a more female friendly atmosphere, if you take away the allegory of the Cube, you pretty much tone down or entirely remove the element of feminism.

It’s at this point of time where the topic of over-interpretation comes in.

One just can’t help but feel that the author of that article is just trying too hard to get that interpretation out of Portal, despite the fact that Valve might be half composed of curly mustaches with matching berets, with bodies to go along with them.

In other words, how far can one go before in his (take that, Portal) interpretations before they can be considered “too far”?

Some might suggest that the point where the interpretations are no longer of the author’s intentions might be a limit, but then you have works like those in visual arts, where the works don’t have a definite interpretation, and are just left there for the sake of making you think (once in a long while).

So does this mean that any work can be used as a basis for any argument, provided that the one using it can provide proper justifications for such a link? And I believe that given enough backflips and literary spasms, a link can be made between the most distant of things, such as children and childhood, or holidays and enjoyment. Given enough effort, such links can be made.

Probably not. While such links can be made, the limit to which these links are believable would be dependant on the audience.

But to a certain extent, such as in milder examples, like the article above, certain stretches can be made, and while I do find that disagreeable, it really all matters on how much I find it believable, and that pretty much varies from person to person.

So not having enough motivation to link this to the topic of peer pressure and the power of the majority, let’s just end this article here, and go back to whatever it was that we were doing, be it writing another article or making fun of the opposite gender.

Writer's Blog

It's been quite a while ever since my last entry touched upon anything in detail that would shame Blu-Ray, so I've decided to do that once again. This post will most possibly be concerned with the Blogger circle. Most probably having blogged more about the blogger circle than during the actual damn thing, in this entry I hope to discuss and meander about a few key issues and concerns with the event.

The blogger circle was put together when Cancy and I started discussing about the inadequecies of our school's Journalism club, and their ability to publish 2006's yearbook and the year 2007 (punctually, of course). And having decided on the fact that there wasn't any interesting material to read within the school compounds (save for the library, but we're specifically talking about quiet places here). So I suggested something along the lines of a self-written, community based paper, and decided to dub it "The Daily Refusal", mostly because it was a catchphrase, but also mostly because of fun, laughter, peace and joy.

The blogger circle eventually came into the picture (albeit somewhat disorientated) and the idea of it started meandering around until we invited more people, and then finally decided on actually having the event. And while I do admit we may have gotten our priorities a bit mixed up, variety is always important, as is the reason why I never intend to go into medical practice.

The idea mostly sprung from countless random yet intellectual conversations about homework, work, and everything else. The common sentiment was that these conversations were mostly wasted, since we all we had from them was lots of fun, and that being of no practical use whatsoever, decided to put these conversations into tangible and incriminating form.

The only remaining minor details include how the circle will actually be conducted.

The strange thing about doing things in general is that its usually most difficult when you're conciously trying your best to carry them out. This means that actually getting the usual ramblings so easily avaliable to us is actually going to be harder than a titanium gobstopper during the actual event.

The best possible way in which the circle can be conducted would be to simply find a nice place to gather, get food and drinks, then let the conversation slowly flow in as much as the drinks. I'm also sure that we're all appreciative if more than drinks flow into this event, so if anyone recently defied the laws of improbability and casino blacklists, we'd be more than happy to bear the burden with you.

The only problems (aside from all the other problems) with this sort of event is that it tends to peter out after a while, and the partcipants and guests start to float away to attend the more exciting blogger circles in the region of Clementi.

So alternatively, we could just hold the whole event in a podcast sort of style, but that in turn forces those who would rather be talking about something else in the discussion (everyone taking EL4103 reading this is experiencing an emotion known commonly as nostalgia. Everyone else is experiencing an emotion called dread.)

So the final alternative I have to offer is this: (hopefully resulting in four mechanical tentacles being welded to my back)

Have three or four mikes in seperate places, with plenty of food and drink around (because mikes and drinks go together like the characters of everyone's favorite Shakespearean tragedy), and everytime a conversation results in a discussion going on, those involved can then shimmy over to the mike and begin their discussion there, sharing the mike (hopefully simultaneously for the sake of my photo album) and sharing their thoughts. Anyone who wants to join the discussion can then shimmy over and subsequently fight for possession of the mike (or the nearby Lays).

Ideally, such a setup allows anyone to join a discussion when they want to, and also allows multiple discussions to go on at the same time.

Of course, having been expelled from the heights of Olympus, this setup is clearly vulnerable to all sorts of drawbacks and as a subsequent result, needs meatshield.

Tagboard?

The Hypathetical Effect

Everyone in the right state of mind (namely, not in Iowa), would have noticed that the school holidays are here (unless you happen to be a member of a lineage of katana wielding badasses). And while it has been something of anticipation for the last six months or so, it probably still is.

It simply isn't what you would have anticipated it to be. And while that may not be true as of yet, by the laws of induction it should be quite safe to say that from the last nine years of our lives, a trend can be observed. The holidays usually seem to be a lot more thrilling and relieving before the actual thrilling and relieving happens. That is to say, it disappoints.

Strangely enough, such a phenomenon is no longer limited to holidays (as of the 2008 patch). Many other things are usually a lot better and appealing before they're actually avaliable. And while the examinations do come to mind upon first mention of such a thing, it can't be denied that many a time, disappointment should be attributed to not to the object of disappointment (no suprise there), but to the human imagination.

Having such a lengthy amount of time to ferment thoughts of anticipation across the period of time in which one is deprived of the object of anticipation, by the time the object is acquired, the actual experience is terribly dampened by having experienced the... experience about ten times or so mentally.

Now about that blogger circle...

Food for Blog

It's been about six hours or so since I knew the sweet scent of freedom, though the possiblity of being institutionalized is marginally possible, I'm thinking that attempting life in the outside world is still possible as long as I have a second chance.

That said, I believe it's important for all ex-convicts like ourselves to get together and talk about how the world has changed since we last saw it. But no longer having access to old woodland sheds in the middle of the forest, we now have to make do with classy cafes and pristine eateries. Dark times we live in.

There are a few tentative locations for such a meeting.

a. Someone's house, preferably one with a trampoline.

b. A cafe, preferably with coffee that costs more than the caviar at the Ritz.

c. The Ritz.

d. In the event that we can't possible have access to any of these places, we could attempt some sort of pilgrimage through the city, and generally talking about things.

Any suggestions, on the tagboard please.

The Circle of Lies

For those who speculate that the writer of this blog might have turned to self blood liberation and poetry, fear not. He's still as jaded as a old Singaporean pawn shop. But the purpose of this post isn't to discuss the profits of such an establishment or to offer emotional help to those who need it, rather, it's purpose is to call for a blogger circle gathering.

The wonderful BCG (because everyone knows that without an acronym, something couldn't possible last for more than 1 month) is a hypothetical meeting, but we aim to remedy that. It mainly consists of roughly as many bloggers as possible getting together in person (though some online meetings may be held) to talk about stuff. Recent issues, the future, and possibly even clothing sales should the situation get desperate. In other words, it is not a meeting with conversation, but rather a meeting FOR conversation. In other words, come on down here and talk.

No one can possibly imagine my ecstacy at the moment.

And so, I beseech (not since 3 years ago) to all bored bloggers and adolescents to tag my tagboard (although if you are a boring and out of fashion individual then you could simply type in it.) if they're interested in such a potentially pointless meeting. But then again, who believes in this sort of wishful thinking?