Fisherman's Fiend

I'll make it short and sweet. My bag got stolen today. Once again, I would like to thank Nintendo for making their consoles so resistable.

Ironically, it happened on a Sunday. But that's the part responsible for indigestion. Wait till I get to it.

Left bag at table. Went to buy food. Bag focuses chakra around body. And I was like "Whoa! You have learnt well!". That didn't last long though.

One family noticed me evading nitrogen, so they asked if I was looking for my bag.

Me: Yeah.
Man: She said one indian man came over and took it. (points to daughter)
Me: Whoa.

And we couldn't find him. However, there is an upside to all this. This guy won't get much out of the loot. There are several reasons for this.

Firstly, recent market analysis has shown that the value of erratic, half broken violet umbrellas has gone down. Therefore, a second hand, half broken violet umbrella (pant pant) will fetch negligible profit.

Secondly, recent religious devices, such as white-beige colored bibles, have included a search and destroy protocol that allows it to carry out the work of God. aka, totally anhiliation of the one who stole it.

Thirdly, recent studies have shown that not many citi/deni-zens of singapore are fans of Hitchiker's guide to the Galaxy.

Finally, market projections have shown that the value of half eaten Apple and Cinamon Fisherman's Friend lozenges have dwindled greatly. However, they do still serve the purpose of soothing the thief's throat.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Amen to that.

I will sur-wife!

The title is simply a tribute to all those who sacrificed themselves in run- battle. They will be remembered, and flowers shall cover their graves forever.

Plus, Gan is allergic.

Alright. I've been trying to get more sleep these days, instead of *cough* blogging about the damn problem. So I'm going to retire soon, and settle down in the countryside, then wake up tomorrow and study. Isn't life great?

The reason why my cracks lately haven't exactly been of World Trade Center standards is because of this. I'm going to have to be-itch about it sooner or later. Here it is:

I was attacked by Damien.

This is pretty old news. I'm also trying to keep it that way.

But I just find it kinda gay. Guess what else I found? Ah nevermind...

The thing is that, I've been giving puppies the gift of flight lately because of this matter. It's not so much what he did but rather why he did it. Damien's reasoning is that he's very stressed, so when I gave him the VR (we do this cool stuff in place of IR...... this window looks high enough) assignment for our group, he could only do one paragraph. alright. here it is... gave him one week. okay. he forgot... so er... gave him one night after I called him again.

Gave me on paragraph the next day. It was kind of a personal introduction more than it was a list of interview questions. After *cough* confronting him on this matter... er...

Did you know the throat is needed for breathing? It's true! Sigh....

Yeah. He kinda gave the jump on me. What also bothers me is that I was pwned in front of everyone in the concourse. Of course, the security guard has a gun, so I was saved. (*insert bullet deflection joke here*)

Now the disclaimer. I understand he is stressed. That's bad. What I don't understand is why I should get a piece of the pie. After this incident, we've grown so dist- er... I kinda think of him as the more stabbable sort, you see where I'm going with this?

Recently he attacked David because of an erased Pokemon savegame.

Damien, use Vice Grip!

Learn to relax buddy... I can't say it's not partially his parent's contributions that caused this though. They really have been crossing the line lately. He had a fever, then was just recovering, and still had a cough and BURNT HIMSELF in the shower, and his mom wouldn't take him to a doctor. No, a private doctor. Not that either.

There's one thing we can learn from this though.

"Sheesh."

Fic-ture Perfect



The days of the canon are over, and it is time to usher in the age of fanfiction. Or is it?



Let's face it. Fanfiction has been around for as long as any series ever existed. It started even with classics such as Alice in Wonderlan and Sherlock Holmes. And that it proceeded to infect just about every popular series ever published.



Internet, you didn't exactly make matters better.



And whilst it can be pretty much agreed that most fanfiction really sucks arse, there are several few that stand out among the crowd, sucking even more. This is especially true when it comes to anime and manga fics.



We at http://www.pressbackspace.blogspot.com/ have scoured the land for the most revolting, sh*ttiest and "rinsed and repeated more than Beryl could ever hope to do" ideas and fanfiction types across the internet (mainly just fanfiction.net). Behold, risk your eyes. Here they are:



1. High School fics- An insult to the holiest of holiest of anime and manga, behold, take the greatest cause of suicide in the world and plug in your favourite anime characters. Now watch as your favourite anime characters struggle to avoid drowning in a sea of homework, teenage romance, and high school fanfics.

The problem with High School fics is that, like many others, there are so damn many of them. Most of them usually include pairings, and the remainder ALWAYS includes pairings. And the problem is, that's just about it. Your sword wielding hero, or your orange jumped suited ninja living the life that you don't want to know more about, and just grabbing the ass of the nearest..... PERSON. (You know what I'm talking about, you bloody Yaoi fic writers)

2. Crossovers- Well, you've already bastardized one anime? Why not do two, or something of an entirely different genre? This one appears most often when the author doesn't know which one to mutilate first, so settles it via Democracy.

Viva la Revolution.

3. Script fics- Yes. Sometimes your favourite fan fiction authors out there are just too lazy to think of anything besides dialogue. So they settle it by doing this.

Samuel: They simply type the character's name at the front of every dialog, er... every sentence and proceed to type NOTHING but dialogue.

S: Sometimes, your authors are so lazy, they just type the name once and proceed to use a vague initial for the rest of the series or fic. This can lead to confusing situations sometimes.

*** naruto fan boys cover your eyes ***

N: You cannot change, Ramen. It is fate.

K: Asuma, don't go, I love you!

S: I love you, Naruto!

So there you have it. Three of the most overused ideas in the fan fiction universe. This has been Samuel persuading the prisoners, signing off.

Customer Com-pains

Hello there everyone. Regarding the last one hour, all I can say is: "What the Hell was that?". My bad. I meant "What the hell was that?" Slight religious error there.

Alright. My lappy's been known to be very erratic for the last year or so. It's currently been one and a half years since I first got it, but lately, we've grown a little distant. She's gotten all erratic. There was the first time, where her battery just fried for no reason, and she refused to go out with me. After a while, we got a new battery, and she was happy.

Today, she decided that it was futile to go on. You could say she stopped pressing charges. The charger screwed up.

It's been that way for a few days now. My screen would flicker now and then, because me com's display dims when you start charging it (like my face that time I was in court).

Then one day, it stopped working on the usual port. So I switched ports, and it worked.

Today, it just stopped working. And no, my hair didn't turn blonde.

I went into a frenzy, and having no respect for God, I swore a lot. I decided to back up my data but stopped halfway, and decided "you know what, screw you. I'm turning you off right now.".

The manual is a piece of shit. It tells you to turn off the computer and try again. I still can't believe that even though I was saving gas, I said "I've turned my computer on and off so many times we're going to have a divorce, you bloody piece of..."

Sorry God. If you have an internet connection, I'm really sorry for swearing all the time. Amen.

Then for no reason at all, I just kept the charger and put the lappy back where it belonged. (R2-D2 saves the day!)

Then for no reason, again, I tried to use the charger on the com without the battery. WTH it worked. It was underage, but it worked! And then I turned it off and tried it with the battery. WTH it worked! None of them got caught and they worked! It's amazing. Two possible things I could have said at that moment:

1. What the hell.
2. Hallelujah!
3. 1 + 1..... that's a good one...

Regardless, I'm glad that she's working again. Now I can spend some time with the kids.

I've been reading Ju- er... NIGHT WOLF's blog for some time now, and I can see that's he a very emo person. Either that, or I'm not the father. P'raps I should interview him?

Which reminds me. I got damned pissed about Gan and Darryl winning the 24 hr competition. in different teams. yeah. It's rather complicated but here goes:

1. Competition announced. I ask if they want to join. They bue song.
2. During VR session, Yuting comes and hands up forms to Ms Tan. Me=WTF
3. Interro- Ask Brother wa si mi? He say he no choice. I say, like that, I also no choice liao. He oso say comp IT club only one. Still not explaining situation.
4. Ask second brother Darryl wa si mi? He say, brother, I don't want to join one leh. I say, then you tell me then I join mah. He say *insert funny face here*. IT club only thing still does not explain situation.
5. Weeks later, word comes in both teams win comp. Kills brothers second time. Later starts killing innocent balloons.
6. Wait a while everything okay again. But IT club only thing still does not explain situation.

Anyway, Yuting tells me there's a Roving DV competition coming along soon. By a cruel twist of fate, the comp is limited to certain clubs only. This is just bullshit. Or so I thought. I found out the comp is hosted by MediaCorp.

This is bullshit. Why are we sacrificing innocent paparazzis?

The Roving DV comp makes students do MediaCorp's work for them by making documentaries about anything they want, submitting them, and if they do win the comp, they get to have their documentary put on air.

And the comp is limited to the IT and Journalism Clubs only. Joy.

Don't get me wrong here. While I am glad that the two clubs are finally doing something, I still don't think it's entirely fair that only they get to participate. After all, the competitions are open to anyone, right?

They don't say " Teams of students from your school's IT/Journalism Club", right?

It's been this way for a while now. It was that way during the SVA, and it's stil this way.

I'm still pondering about whether to join or not. Anyone else out there thinking of joining? it'll still take some negotiation (or as JS would say, parley) to enter the comp.

This is the day you'll always remember, as the day that you almost......... no wave? no wave? okay.

Marrage is a horrible thing.

Hello there everyone! Are you ready to sing? Come on... let's go!

I would seriously like to start revealing the conspiracy about the House of Horror, but it seems that the tongue was meant for tasting after all.

Plus, its up again. So I'll have to wait till its over. Again.

I would just like, however, to make an honorable mention for the Horror House. I'll try to minimize the spoilers in the **** part, but then here's the main deal.

The Horror House isn't some open ended deal. In other words, these guys are the complete anti thesis of exams. In fact, the whole Horror House is rather like a play, but with you as the main character. (For those of you who get water from the strange metal tubes sticking through your walls, the Horror House is run by the Drama Club)

The first thing you'll notice about the Horror House is the decor. Very cliched, but it works. Dim orangeish light fills the first room, and cobwebs and dissected animals are suspended in glass jars. (Anticlima-tip : Comment on how dusty the place looks. Try to sell them a some detergent or floor cleaning agent.)

I won't cover any decor on the second part of the Horror House, since there's not really any decor in there.

The second thing you see are the characters. As I've said before, the whole layout of your Horror House adventure is highly innovative. You're simply a character in the story, instead of going into some linear maze with sexually confused ghosts, there's actually some goal for you in this HH.

The characters manage to bring that out perfectly. With an Adam's Family-esque cast, you are presented with a vague storyline that somehow works, even though there are plenty of dark pits in it. Not that it bothers you, since you'll probably be thinking of whether ammonia comes off in clothes detergent.

The costumes are just spot on. The characters in the first part of the HH wear costumes with a distinct Gothic style. It's all down pat. Laces, frills, that sort of thing. It all creates the proper atmosphere. Without these costumes, the HH would be just the Drama Room... After the holidays.

And the third thing I can tell you without making you a clairvoyant is the music. The music in a certain part of the HH distinguishes itself as the main enemy of washing machines. It sounds like a drunk choir, and it actually works. Nothing is scarier than a drunk choir...

Spoilers HARRY end POTTER here DOESN'T .DIE

Well there you have it. I've been wanting to review the HH for quite some time now.

This score isn't based on the previously written stuff, since it's incomplete, and my score may not be very accurate, since most of the time I was "persecute(ing) those who would try to steal my Millenium Key", but here it is.

We at Ex-Play give this Horror House 5 Goths out of 5.

Stale haven't updated yet?

Greetings there, fellow earthlings.

It has been a while since I even bothered to open Blogger, and I can explain this. It's not what it looks like. Youtube is just a friend...

Alright, So I haven't been blogging on Youtube. I have, however, been watching the videos of this bearded fellow who calls himself Blunty3000. A very perspective guy, or at least, he used to be. I went back in time and took a look at his older videos. Those are, for some weird reason, a lot better than the videos he makes now.

Somewhat angry these days.

He did, however, mention he was suffering from clinical depression after a work-related... ACCIDENT, so that could be understandable.

Enough about Blunty3000. These few days, I've been feeling a little bit... Unsamuel these days. I can't seem to make a good reference, and I only pull off a good one occasionally.

I figure this is one of those sleep deprivation problems.

I hope she understands... (Score, baby!)

Alright... These few days have been rather hectic. First, there was the silly Art Camp, which I'd rather not talk about (They're watching, after all).

Then there was school.

And Brother is running for council. Do not ask me which Brother, because it doesn't really matter. It seems like everyone I know is running for council......

I wonder why mom isn't home yet?

And the most unexpected people too. The kind which you expect wouldn't give a sh*t about stuff like politics and changing the face of the school.

It's really amazing.

I've requested that Darryl let me be his campaign manager.

While I've been low on laughbohydrates lately, I've had a lot of marketing ideas. Like ideas for chocolate flavoured milk, and random assorted stuff.

The choc flavoured milk thing involves Hitler. See how sleep deprived I am?

I figure that while my brain is low on wit, I'd just relatively shut up for a while.

Mom broke my telegram.