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Exblesso

It had to come sooner or later. It's happened to just about every newspaper, or magazine, or internet personality, talkshow etc... A very sensitive and personal editorial about something seemingly practical yet imbued with a great amount of emotional hoo hah and passion. It might not be the same thing I'm about to mention, but the general theme is as mentioned.

Today, in the ultimate of cliched articles, I shall be discussing coffee. I'm sorry, it's spelt Coffee, right? My bad.

Le Coffeh

And while I have absolutely no idea what that means, let's get on with it before my non existent editor comes along and notices it.

They are many opinions concerning this humble brown liquid (alright, would you all of you just grow up already?). Some have elevated it to the height of the mysterious smiling woman that probably wears braces, while some aspiring Duchamps have managed to actualll dislike (God forbid) the beverage. Others are more in the riddle of the road, sitting on the fence etc (other painful euphemisms for remaining neutral) about this subject, and prefer to see coffee as a simple beverage, liked by some and launched out of the mouths of others.

Those who place this humble bean water solution on a pedestal often say that one has not experienced the true meaning of coffee (and thus can only access 50 percent of its power) until they drink it with their mind being totally focused on the sensual experiences that come with drinking it. You must sit cross legged on a mat, or perhaps at a roadside cafe on the streets of Paris, and slowly take a sniff of the wonderful aroma that wafts out of the cup. Then you must slowly sip the coffee while irritating everyone around you (this is very enjoyable), swish the coffee around your mouth for a while, then swallow and enjoy the mellow sensation wafting up your throat to your nostrils.

To those who place it on the negative pedestal (aka pit), they say that in order to experience the true meaning of coffee (note the lack of italic for the word "true") one must gurgle it violently and then share the coffee with the person sitting in front of you.

Others just say pour it down your damn throat already.

And this is the part of the entry where I bore you with my opinion. Breaking the tradition of saying "none of these opinions are correct", I agree with numero three.

Coffee can be likened to that of love. While this comparison may be seem a little unfair (I won't do something like this again, Coffee. Sorry.) It isn't about sitting by the streets of Paris with your adept tongue work or sitting on a mat. It's about It being there whenever you need it. When you feel you just can't go on *cough* masteringphysics *cough*, it's there for you. Coffee is something humble yet sacred.

*End of article*

Bring it ON, critics.